Monastery of the Broken
by DeanLittle67
Summary: He walked out six months ago. Chloe's search to find him lands her somewhere she never thought he'd be. Will Lucifer be able to overcome his father's hold once more or will Chloe be left with the shell of the man she knew?
1. Chapter 1

She woke like she had for the last six months. The spot beside her in the bed having been vacant for that long. She missed him, it was that simple. Standing, she placed a hand on the pillow - on _his_ pillow. It had lost the unique smell of cigarettes and whiskey long ago, but she couldn't bring herself to change the pillowcase. It was a reminder of what she'd lost, of what she had to find again. It was a reminder that Lucifer was not a lost cause like Dan had tried to make it seem. She'd know if he was dead. It was the same way that she knew he was still alive. He still burned in her soul, and if he was dead, she'd be able to feel it. It was the same way parents knew if something was wrong with their children. He had a piece of her still, and she had one of him. She had a piece of the soul he told her didn't exist.

It had been six months of nonstop searching since he disappeared. Her police work had been put on the backburner. Trixie had been staying with Dan more often than not. He'd called it an unhealthy obsession, a lost cause. If she hadn't found him in six months, it was doubtful she'd find him at all. It was as if he didn't want to be found. Those words had caused her to think back to their last conversation.

" _Lucifer…" she said softly, keeping herself from caressing his face. She'd felt his skin under her hand a million times before, but this seemed final. She needed that one last caress, that one last touch. "Don't…"_

" _Just don't come looking for me. Just don't. Please." She could see the ghosts of tears in his eyes. They weren't there, but she could see the shadows could see that in a few moments they might. It had all boiled down to this. The fight of all fights. The pair stood in his apartment, only a couple of steps separating them. So many words she wished she could take back, so many things she wished she hadn't said. But she did, and no matter how much she wanted to take it all back she couldn't._

" _Lucifer, please don't go," she practically begged him. "I'll do anything, just please...don't go." He closed his eyes, bottom lip brought between his teeth. The expression on his face said it all. There was nothing she could do to change things. Nothing. And with that, he was gone._

"Decker," she answered the phone, looking over the credit card statements, clues as to where he could have been. They'd stopped not even three weeks after he disappeared. It was as if he knew she'd be looking for him, opting for a cash instead. It was harder to track a trail like that. She looked over tips called in as to where he may have been seen. It's not that hard to miss him, with that British accent or with those eyes or with the way he melted you from the inside out. She had to shake those thoughts from her mind.

"Chloe," Dan replied, the tone in which he said her name was what set off her detective instincts. Either something very good happened, or the worst. With Dan, it had always been hard to tell. "We found him." It was as if her heart dropped to her stomach. Her breathing picked up, waiting for the catch. There was always a catch. "We found him _alive,_ Chloe. He's at a monastery in Huasna, Monastery of the Broken." She couldn't help but internally chuckle at the irony. The man who claimed to be the actual Devil was at a Monastery in a remote area of California, safe. He was safe.

She exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding with a small laugh. She still had the phone pressed up to her ear, but Dan had already disconnected. She wasn't sure if that meant he was going to go with her or if that meant he'd done his part and now it was all her turn. Standing, she put the phone in her pocket. It was going to be a long drive, but she could wait three more hours. She'd already waited six months.

The drive to Huasna was uneventful. Traffic hadn't been as much of a nightmare as she'd originally thought it was going to be, and she was out of the city within forty-five minutes. She let the music play during the ride, a mixture of what Lucifer would listen to and what she listened to. They were completely different, his being more along the lines of piano covers and hers being more jazz. But together, they mixed perfectly.

She wondered what it was going to be like, seeing him after six months of no contact. She wondered if he could forgive her for the things she said; she'd already forgiven him for the things he did. There was the nagging in the back of her head, though, that said things may never be the way she wanted them to be. Things may never get better between them, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to give up the hope that had kept her searching for this long. She knew that facts and the statistics, knew that he could have been dead. She also knew he was a man with many connections, and Lucifer Morningstar could disappear as easily as he'd appeared five years ago.

She parked her car in front of the monastery. It was old, the bricks and shingles telling her that. It looked to be Spanish, probably from the seventeen hundreds, if not sooner. When she got out of the car, she really looked at it. This wasn't the first place she'd look for him. Hell, it wasn't even the last. Lucifer's aversion to God and religion had steered her away from even thinking about looking at places like this.

With a deep breath, she walked over to large doors, looming over her. She'd barely knocked twice on the wood, the sound echoing behind it, when a man answered the door. He was dressed like she'd expect a priest to dress, in a cassock.

"How may I help you?" he asked her softly, his voice firm yet soft. He was barely taller than she was, blonde hair and green eyes. He reminded her of Lucifer, yet at the same time there was something different about him. She couldn't quite place it. As Lucifer had been drawn to temptations and desires, this man seemed to be much more pure.

"Yes. I'm Detective Chloe Decker with the Los Angeles Police Department." She flashed her badge to make a point. "I'm investigating a missing person's case, and I have reason to believe he might be here." Her hand hesitated on the picture of Lucifer in her pocket, scared. She didn't know why she was scared, terrified even of the possibility of him being here. "His name is Lucifer Morningstar."

The man's eyes widened, but his demeanor quickly changed to appear more relaxed. "I'm sorry, but there is no Lucifer here." She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip before pulling out the picture. She showed it to the man, his eyes scanning it like hers had a million times.

"Is he here?" she asked again, the man shutting his eyes for a brief moment. He looked at her, giving her a curt nod.

"He is. But this man is not Lucifer Morningstar, Detective." He led her in the building. There were men all around, praying or working or reading scripture. "He came to us about six months ago, clothes tattered, bruised and bloody with no recollection of who he was or even how he'd gotten here. As you know, this place is not easy to find by car, let alone by foot. We brought him in, nursed him back to health. When we asked him if he remembered his name, he didn't give us the name you did. He said his name was Samael." He led her to the chapel. Men were sitting in the pews, but one thing stood out.

There was a man kneeling at the front of the church, hands outstretched with his palms facing the sky. His head was bowed back, talking to the Heavens. The light filtering in through the stained glass didn't seem to illuminate anything but him. For a brief moment, she thought she was hallucinating. He was radiating, glowing, and she could have sworn she saw wings for a split second.

"He hasn't spoken much since he's gotten here, not of normal conversation anyway. The only time we hear his voice is when he prays aloud, but mostly, he's like this." The man motioned to Lucifer kneeling on the ground. "You can take him home, but you cannot force him, Detective. And if he does go with you, he's not the same man. I have a feeling Samael and Lucifer are two very different people." She looked at the man, head cocked slightly to the side with a small smile.

"He's the same man, Father. He's the same man I fell in love with. I never caught your name, by the way." The man smiled at her, extending his hand. She took it firmly in hers.

"I'm Jophiel. I will leave you to it. I can assume you'd be able to find your way out." She nodded as the Father walked away, leaving her standing in the aisle with Lucifer just steps in front of her. She wanted to run to him, to take him in her arms, but she took the Father's words to heart. It had been six months, six months of change it seemed like.

Slowly, she walked toward him, trying not to disturb him. She could hear him mumbling under his breath in a language that didn't sound like anything she was familiar with. Was it possible he was speaking in tongues? She knew it was possible if somebody had enough faith - or so Dan had told her. She wasn't much of a God person.

"Luc-." She cut herself off. "Samael," she spoke softly as she kneeled next to him. The sunlight hitting his face made him look like a sculpture, like God had hand crafted the man she knew. There was hinting of a five-o'clock shadow along his jaw, his eyelashes longer than she remembered. Freckles dotted across his nose and cheekbones. His mouth moved to the words he spoke. She could barely remember what they felt like on her skin. "Samael."

He opened his eyes, blinking a couple times with confusion. He brought his hands down to his sides, face still upturned towards the ceiling. Blinking a couple of times, he finally turned his head towards her. She smiled, hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe, Lucifer was still there somewhere.

"Samael, it's me. It's Chloe." She waited with baited breath as he looked at her with confusion.

"I-I'm sorry. Do I know you?" One question brought all of her hope crashing down. He didn't remember who he was, he didn't remember who she was. This man that was beside her was a man of faith, faith that Lucifer had always lacked. This man was not who had left her, and she didn't know if she was going to get him back.


	2. Chapter 2

"People have been looking for you, Samael," she said softly. He had led her out of the chapel and to the gardens. Flowers bloomed around them, his fingers dancing over the petals as they passed. He was dressed in all black, the only thing missing was the clerical collar. She knew he wouldn't have one, but she could imagine how he'd look with one.

"Whether people have been looking or not, I found my way here," he told her, brows furrowing the same way a small child would when trying to explain something they deemed 'hard'. "I have made my home here."

She was confused to say the least. Lucifer was not one to say that a place like this was his home. He lived off of whiskey and sex. He lived off of what she could only describe as sin. This place was a place he'd make a mockery of. He'd lash out, criticise. This wasn't his home, his home was with her. In that moment, with that thought, she thought of herself as selfish. She'd gone all this way for her own agenda.

She fell a step or two behind him, trying to think of what to say. What was there to say? _Hey, I'm sorry that I yelled at you and called you out on your bullshit. I miss you. I love you._ If he didn't remember her, how could he remember his feelings for her. She could only imagine it as if you knew somebody when you were young, somebody you forgot about until a memory hit like a steam-train.

"Your name isn't Samael," she called out. He stopped, his fingers lingering over the red funnel shaped flowers. The stems looked like grass, the flowers blooming at the top like a puzzle. "At least not the person I knew. You're him. I know you won't believe me, but believe the things I'm going to tell you. You drink whiskey like it's water. You own suits costing probably more than my car. Trixie misses you, asking when you're coming back. How do I tell an eight year old that I don't know where her friend went? You called Dan 'Detective Douche'. You have scars on your shoulder-blades, perfect crescents. You told me it's where you had Maze cut off your wings. I may not believe the wing portion, but I do believe something did happen to you. Even if you don't believe anything before the scars, you can't tell me that you don't have them." He toyed with the flowers, subtly moving his shoulders as she mentioned them.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, looking at her after a moment. "I can agree with the scars, but I don't remember anything else. I don't even know how I got them." She took a deep breath.

"What does your name mean?" she finally asked, playing along if only for a moment. He smirked, something she missed dearly. But it wasn't as he usually did. This was laced with sexuality and desire. This was one of the true smirks he saved only for her. He only showed it when he was truly happy.

"Light bringer. I was Father's favorite. Always was." That much hadn't changed. He remembered that much. His smile faded, a glimpse of pain shooting across his face before dissolving quickly into a sad smile. She walked up to him, his fingers still toying with the flowers. Glancing down, she couldn't help but chuckle at the name of the flowers. Crocosmia Lucifer. Oh the irony.

"Samael, people have been looking for you. I understand that you've made a home here, but you have people back in Los Angeles who haven't stopped looking for. You have people who care about you." His eyes lit up, but quickly dimmed. It was a flash of the person she knew.

"I...I don't know, Detective." His brows furrowed, and she sighed with a nod. Pulling out her phone, she took a few steps back to let him have some space. She could tell by the look on his face that he was concentrating on something, hoping it was something that could make him remember her - to remember _them_.

Her fingers ran across the numbers as if playing a piano. She smiled as the person on the other end answers. "What?" Maze bit out, harsher than Chloe would have liked. Despite living together, they'd had their differences - especially when it came to Chloe and Lucifer finally getting together.

"Maze, I found him," she breathed out, keeping her voice hushed so that he wouldn't overhear. She didn't need to freak him out any more than it appeared she already had. "He's in Huasna. And you won't believe where at in Huasna I found him." She walked a few paces back and forth, waiting for Maze to answer.

"I-I don't even know where Huasna is, Chloe!" Maze practically yelled at her. "Just tell me he's safe." Chloe had to admit that she could be a little jealous of Maze at times. It was obvious that the other woman loved Lucifer much like Chloe did, but Lucifer's reaction to it was different. While he cared for Chloe and loved her back, the love he showed for Maze was different. It wasn't so much romantic as it was an infatuation, a comfort that he'd had for God knows how long. By the sounds of it, they'd known each other a long time, and there was nothing that could break that bond.

"I found him at a monastery, Maze. Monastery of the Broken. He doesn't even remember his name!" All sounds stopped on the other side of the line, and she glanced at the phone, making sure the call hadn't been disconnected. When she was assured the call was still going, she put the phone back up to her ear.

"What does he think his name is, Chloe?" the other woman asked. For the first time since Chloe knew her, she heard fear and insecurity laced with her words. Maze was not one to falter, never showing a sign of weakness. However, when it came to this particular instance, Chloe had an inkling that maybe Maze knew something that she wasn't letting on.

"He thinks his name is Samael." Something shattered on the other end, and Chloe jumped, not expecting it. She looked over at Lucifer who still had a look of confusion on his face, but his eyes had drifted shut and as she watched his mouth move silently, she could only assume that he was praying again.

"You need to bring him back, Chloe. I don't care if you have to drag him kicking and screaming!" She didn't understand what was going on with Maze, but her tone let on a lot more than she might be willing to admit out loud. The fear, the betrayal, the caring laced in those harshly said words was enough for Chloe to understand.

"I will," she promised before hanging up the phone and putting it back in her pocket. She gave him a few more seconds before she walked back over, placing her hand gently on his. His eyes opened, and he looked at her. It seemed like it was the first time they'd made full eye contact that wasn't broken since she'd gotten there. Each time before, he'd glance away quickly.

"Come back home," she practically pleaded with him. "I miss you. Trix misses you. Hell, even Maze misses you. Please." She could only imagine how she looked to him, pleading with brows furrowed and a look of anguish on her face. She'd come this far, and she'd be damned if she was leaving empty handed.

"I'll leave with you," he finally said after a few moments of seemingly endless silence. "On one condition. I stay with you. You seem to be honest about the things you've told me. I want to believe that you're not lying, I want to trust you. And with trusting you comes trusting you entirely." She nodded, letting out a small sigh.

"Do you have any belongings with you?" she asked. She had a feeling she knew the answer already. If he'd shown up beaten and not remembering anything, there was a slim chance he had anything other than the clothes he'd worn in.

"I have a couple of things. I'll grab them and meet you at the front doors." She nodded, watching him walk away. A part of her was terrified he'd run again like he'd ran all those months ago. That still didn't add up in her mind though. Jophiel found him beaten and bloodied with no memory, yet he'd willingly walked out of the apartment and told her not to follow him. She could understand if she'd found him as he'd left, but she couldn't figure out how point A connected to point B.

She walked back the way they came until she stood by the wooden doors. Looking out, she thought the place was serene. It was mostly hidden in the woods, surrounded by trees that looked like they hadn't been touched by human hands in centuries - if not ever. The breeze blew her hair gently, and it didn't smell like smog. If she were to never have found him, at least he'd have been at peace here.

"You seem to be lost in your thoughts, Detective Decker," Jophiel said from beside her, causing her to jump slightly. He was quiet, looking out on nature like she had just been doing.

"I'm just thinking about this case. It doesn't all add up," she admitted. "The last I saw him, he was telling me to not look for him, and then you tell me he shows up bloodied and beaten. It just…" She shook her head and closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts.

"It doesn't make sense _yet_. I'm sure in time it will." She looked at the man again, gathering all she could from the way he held himself - self-assured, maybe a little arrogant, but very pure. The vibe he gave off wasn't threatening, it was tranquil.

"Tell me, from the beginning," she told him. He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"I had woken at sunrise like I always do to prepare for the day. It had been raining the night before, so I went to check on the buildings. As you can tell, they're fairly old and even though they're sturdy, I always like to make sure they're secure after a rain. I was inspecting the outside of the chapel when I came upon him.

He was shivering, lips were blue, completely soaked through. I had no idea how long he'd been out there. So, I brought him in. With the help of a couple of others, we got him warmed up, got him fed. We tried asking him early on what his name was, but he couldn't give us an answer. Two days later, when he was lucid we asked again. He said his name was Samael. We pushed for anything else, but he told us fairly quickly that he didn't know anything else. He couldn't tell us where he was from, how he'd gotten here. He didn't even know where he was.

There was something odd right away though. He knew the scripture by heart. He could recite every line of the Bible without looking at it. I've only seen a few people able to do so, and none of them seem to have the background you make it seem like he has. These were people who were raised in religion and who had continued their spiritual path. But, he seemed to be a man of God at the time, so we let him stay. And that's how it's been since you arrived today.

Most of the time, Samael would be praying or reading through the religious texts we have here, but it didn't seem like he was studying them like many do. It was as if he was reading them for the thousandth time. I found it very odd, but I never questioned it.

Then, you show up and tell me he's been missing for six months. I feel sorry that we kept him, I understand your pain. Had we known, had _I_ known that he was really a missing person, I would have reported it to the authorities, but you do have to understand one thing. We get a lot of drifters or people trying to start over. Had we reported every single person who walked through those doors…" He shook his head, and she understood entirely.

She didn't reply as the doors opened. Lucifer stood there still dressed in the black attire. In his hands were his suit - she recognized it as the same one he'd walked out of the apartment in - his wallet, and his phone. The wallet seemed to be damaged, and she would guess the contents were in the same condition. His phone was shattered. It would be a miracle if it would work, let alone turn on.

"I'm ready, Detective," he said softly. She nodded as Jophiel shook his hand one more time. Walking to her car, her heart was pounding. She'd really found him, he was safe and alive. Now came the hard part. Why couldn't he remember anything? And who was Samael?


	3. Chapter 3

She pulled up to Lux and got out, handing the keys off to the valet. Lucifer's expression was - to say the least - shocked. She hadn't told him where they'd be going, but she had shot a quick text to Maze to let her know to meet them there.

In the six months since Lucifer's disappearance, Chloe stayed at the penthouse more often than she did the apartment she shared with Maze. It was easier for her to spread out her work at his place, and Dan had been taking care of Trixie a majority of the time so that she could focus on her work. She hadn't altered it, not really. The piano was still in the foyer, the bar was still fully stocked, his suits till hanging where he left them - some still in the dry cleaning bags. The only thing that she had changed had been to put a framed picture of them on the piano. It was where many of their conversations had occurred.

"What is this place?" he asked as she noted the look of fear and apprehension on his face as he looked up the tall building.

"It's your club _Lux_ ," she told him simply before guiding him into the building. It was the middle of the day, so she didn't need to worry about anybody being in the club as they passed through it. He still had a look of awe on his face, a look of amazement. Rather than letting him linger, she headed straight for the elevator, pulling him along gently.

"This is all mine?" he asked once the elevator doors closed. She felt his eyes on her, but she didn't look at him. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't look at the man that was a shell of who he was supposed to be. And, instead of using words to answer his question, she gave a nod.

She wanted to engage with him, but she also wanted to kiss him and hold his hand like nothing had changed. It had, and she didn't need to scare him off before he even started getting better. It had taken her six months to find him hiding more or less in plain sight. She couldn't imagine how long it would take her if he was truly hiding.

When the elevator doors opened, she swiftly walked out. Being so close to him she could practically feel the heat radiating from his body didn't help her in the least. As she made her way to the piano, she laid the picture down before noticing Maze and Amenadiel already standing at the bar waiting for the two.

"How do I afford all this?" he then asked. That was a question she couldn't answer even if she wanted to. She'd looked into it a few times, but had never come up with anything conclusive. The only thing she could think of that would make sense would be if he came from money - and it did seem that he came from money due to the simple fact he didn't know how to function without it.

She glanced over at the two friends that he had yet to notice. Both were eyeing him, looking him over from a distance. She could hear the faint exchange of words, but wasn't able to make anything out.

He sat his things on the couch before looking around. It still took him another minute before noticing the two, but when he did… She wasn't expecting the reactions she saw. The look of apprehension on his face was replaced with an elated smiled as he saw Amenadiel.

"Brother!" he called out, walking over with the smile still in place. Amenadiel tensed up for a moment, but Chloe saw a shift in him. He seemed to relax as the two embraced each other in a hug as if everything she'd seen them go through was water under the bridge. It didn't quite make sense until the two started talking.

"You act as if you've seen a ghost, Amen," Lucifer said with a chuckle, leaning against the bar, waiting for Amenadiel to speak.

"Something like that, Sammy. Some things have happened, so I must ask. What's the last thing you remember before you woke in the Monastery?" Lucifer looked confused, but he had a look that told her he was thinking.

As the silence continued, she glanced over to Maze. The woman had a look of disgust on her face, and Chloe couldn't put her finger on the reason why. She had a few theories, including jealousy, betrayal, anger that he couldn't remember. Chloe - deep down - felt as if she should be feeling the same way, but knew she couldn't. It wasn't Lucifer's fault this happened. Maybe that's what was happening with Maze. Maybe she was angry at her friend for not remembering her, yet remembering his brother.

"I have a feeling my answer will displease you and the Detective, Amen. I remember the Silver City, sitting next to Father as he created the humans. I remember asking him questions, and he seemed to be annoyed, but answered them. Mother walked in, flinging words and insults at him as if I wasn't there. She grabbed ahold of my arm, dragging me out. I was confused. I understood she was hurt… I don't…" She saw pain wash over his face as he gripped the bar, knuckles turning white.

"Brother, so much time has passed since then. Mother is in Hell, Father is… Well, I haven't heard from him in a long time. The humans have evolved over centuries." Lucifer was perplexed, confused. She saw his chest rise and fall, bordering the threshold of hyperventilation. She'd never seen him so… vulnerable.

"Tell him about the Fall," Maze chimed in. Lucifer looked at her with disgust, and Chloe couldn't have been more confused.

"Mazikeen, I don't believe that's a good idea right now. He doesn't remember anything leading up to it." The woman scoffed, walking around the bar to stand between Lucifer and Amenadiel. Chloe was tempted to intervene, but she was curious to see how Lucifer would react to his friend.

Maze looked over him, her fingers brushing his arm softly. He flinched away, but that didn't deter the woman from continuing to make contact with him. Her hand glided up his arm to his shoulder, down to his back where the scars were. She saw her dig her nails in, a flash of pure agony rippling throughout Lucifer. She saw tears brim his eyes, jaw clench before his hand came up with a swift move and slapped Maze. The sound of skin on skin reverberated throughout the room.

"What…?" Maze said softly from the spot she'd landed several feet away. Her hand touched the forming bruise on her cheek as she stood with anger and fury.

"I think it's best we cut this reunion short," Chloe finally said, intervening too late. "Maze, you go back to the apartment. Amenadiel and I will talk for a few minutes and then he'll go back to wherever he lives. Okay? Lu- Samael, feel free to continue to look around, refamiliarize yourself."

She glanced between the three, the tension palpable. There was a haunting look in Lucifer's eyes as he stalked away, his shoulder moving as if trying to erase the memory of Maze's fingers digging into his skin. Maze stood, obviously confused, but leaving without a word. Amenadiel looked at Chloe, waiting until the room was clear before walking over to her.

"Amenadiel. Tell me, what's going on," she told him straightforward. The two sat at the bar, facing each other.

"We had a difficult childhood," he said softly. "Our Father was absent, and our Mother… She wasn't the nicest woman at times. His given name was Samael, and he was the target of our Mother's wrath a majority of the time. Things changed, Mother left, and so did Samael. He changed his name to Lucifer. I know of the instance he remembers, but that was long ago, Chloe." She nodded.

"Does his mother have to do with him believing himself to be the Devil?" she asked. The two had never spoken of their family much, other than each other and the mentions of their father. It was heartbreaking to hear how they'd been treated, Lucifer especially.

"She has everything to do with it. Where did you say you found him?" he asked.

"Monastery of the Broken in Huasna. It's run by Father Jophiel." As soon as that name came out of her mouth, she saw Amenadiel tense up. "Do you know him?"

"Things will make sense soon," he told her as he stood. "Until then, keep him safe. Keep him here. If he starts remembering… God help us all."

"Amenadiel. Talk to me here. Stop being so damn cryptic all the time, stop playing into his metaphors. What's going on?" She stood facing him.

"Jophiel is not just the Father there, Chloe. He's our brother, and if Lucifer has been around him… Jophiel was our Mother's favorite, you have to realize that he acts for her now."

"You're saying he might have had something to do with Lucifer not remembering?" Amenadiel nodded, and Chloe understood a portion of it all. She knew she had to keep Lucifer safe, that the abuse from his past was now back, and the abuser may come with it.


End file.
